Hmmmm… it’s earlyish Wednesday morning and I’ve been up for two and a half hours already. *Yawn* this really is a bit much. One of the problems with scheduling holidays a decent time in advance, is that by the time the holidays actually start getting closer, you really need a holiday.
Anyway, I want to share something I found on the net – quite humorous indeed, but probably not suitable reading for anyone.
On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL they play a game and ask people if they are married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions (that vary from couple to couple) and asked for their significant other’s name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners. This particular day (12-09-98) it got interesting:
DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know “Mate Match”?
Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.
DJ: What is your name? First name only please.
DJ: Are you married or what Brian?
DJ: “Yes”? Does this mean your are “married”? or what?, Brian?
Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes I am married.
DJ: Thank you, Brian. OK, now, what is your wife’s name? First only please, Brian.
DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?
Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.
DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: She is gonna kill me.
DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here man.
Brian: About 8 O’clock this morning.
DJ: Atta boy.
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well…
DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?
Brian: About 10 minutes.
DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that if it there weren’t a trip at stake.
Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.
DJ: OK. Final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm…
DJ: This sounds good Brian; where was it?
Brian: Not that it was all that great, just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.
DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!
Brian: On the kitchen table.
DJ: “Not that great”? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.
DJ: (to audience) Let’s call Sara, shall we?
(touch tones …*ringing*)
DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?
Clerk: This is she.
DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now…
Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?
DJ: Well, awhile anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose, soooooooo, do you know the rules of “Mate Match”?
Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?
Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, OK?
Sara: Oh, Brian.
DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you 3 questions and if you answer exactly what Brian has said, then the 2 of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World and Sea World.
Sara: All right.
DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?
Sara: Oh God, Brian… this morning before Brian went to work.
DJ: What time?
Sara: About 8, I think.
(sound effect) DING DING DING
DJ: Very good. Next question: How long did it last?
Sara: 12 … 15 minutes maybe.
Background voice in studio: That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying not to harm his manhood.
DJ: Well, we will give you that one. Last question: Where did you do it?
Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!
Brian: Just tell him honey.
DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?
Sara: Well, it’s just … just that my mom is vacationing with us and…
DJ: SHE SAW?!?!
Brian: NO, no she didn’t.
DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin’ with your head. Your answer?
Sara: Dear Lord… I cannot believe you told them this.
Brian: Come on honey it’s for a trip to Florida.
DJ: Let’s go Sara we ain’t got all day. Where did you do it?
Sara: In the ass.
DJ: …We will be right back.
DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, FL.