I’ve just had the best idea. Beijing 2008, here we come.

Did you know that pistol duelling was at one stage an Olympic sport?

You’d have to imagine that the competition for gold in that sport would be particularly fierce – a bronze medal just wouldn’t cut it. And the adulation for the sport’s heroes and heroines would be intense – I can just hear people saying it now, “Ah, those duellists, they don’t f#@k around with their sport”.

And wouldn’t it be popular now that the games are televised? Somehow I feel the Ping-pong championships probably wouldn’t rate against the final of the pistol duelling. Sadly, when it was done historically, it was done against wooden dummies. Anti-climactic, isn’t it?

They should bring it back now that the Olympics are on TV, and with none of this wooden dummy crap. Maybe they could use convicts or something. You know, even if they don’t add it to the Olympics, there’s certainly a Christopher Lambert movie in that idea.